It’s been awhile since I’ve posted anything to my Rector’s Reflections page. Perhaps that is because of my own blahs or the busyness in my life with a new son, or just the feeling that I have nothing worthy to offer. The Lord convicted me as our “Webservant,” Joe Siegler wrote and asked me to post something new as the page was very outdated. I responded that he could just remove the link from the site as I had nothing significant to post. Today I received the following email from Joe and the Lord spoke to me about how important personal testimonies are. The things the Lord does in our individual lives are often more important than the rambling and ranting of the Rector. Of course there are times when it is important to update you on significant happenings or events in our church of the life of the Anglican Communion. So I will stop the pity-party about not feeling I have anything significant to offer and try to be more attentive to my postings on this web page. In the future I will also post more testimonies that come across my path. And who knows?...we might even have a separate page for testimonies soon enough. But for now, I hope many of you will be as blessed as I was by reading this heartfelt and honest testimony from Joe.
I wanted to write some of my friends from church and let them know of a powerful thing that happened to me at Church yesterday. I wanted to write several of the people I know from Christ the Redeemer, and several that have left too, as I think the message here transcends any earthly barriers. This is one of those "Filled with Joy" moments that I just wanted to share with everyone.
I've been thinking of late about some of the overall larger issues our church has, and I was focusing on some of the negative aspects of all of this. Due to this, I was feeling rather "blah" about going to church this past Sunday (Jun 1). So I had internally decided on Saturday that I was not going to go to church. No particular reason, other than "I didn't want to". I've skipped a few times in the last few years, but there's usually a reason (airport trip, or needing a family day or something tangible like being sick). This one was nothing other than my own "funk", and my desire to be by myself and "do my own thing", I suppose. Lynn was at work at the time I had decided this, so I didn't tell her about this decision yet. As Lynn was at work, it was "Daddy & Samantha day!". We were driving around and Samantha remembered we went to Sam's Club about a month ago, and she played on the demo version of a video game called "Rock Band". She wanted to do so again, as she liked the drums. For those that don't know, "Rock Band" is a game where you have a microphone, a drum kit, and a guitar, and you play along with pre-recorded songs. So we went to Sam's Club to let her bang on the drums for a few minutes, but the demo kit had been removed, and she was bummed out about it. This is important again later.
When Samantha and I got back home from the trip, I had gotten an email from Spencer Williams. Spencer had asked me to bring my camera with me on Sunday, as it was Commencement Sunday for the discipleship class. He asked if I'd get a picture of the group. So I thought "OK, I'll go - I seem to be Mr. Camera guy anyway". I was just going to go for that, because I do enjoy taking pictures, plus there's been several events captured which if I didn't, there'd be no visual record of. So yeah, I was going just to take pictures, I still kind of didn't want to be there, really.
Well, let me tell you, this is a prime example of "Obedience Brings Blessing". I came, and I felt like it was going to be a day you get once in awhile, where you're just there to "go through the motions". As most of you know, I've had a few injuries in my knee since last August. I fell and really banged up my knee last August originally, and it hurt a lot for quite awhile. It was getting better, and then I twisted my ankle playing in the back yard with Samantha, and most receently I fell on some water on our hardwood floor in the kitchen I did not properly clean up. So I've had some sort of pain in my left knee since last August. When we got to the part in the sevice where we kneel for confession, I was thinking "What do I confess now? - So I told the Lord, "Look, you know me, you know all the stuff I've done, and right now, as I kneel here - I can't think of a single thing to confess, and I know I've done a ton that needs to be confessed, so Lord, I'm sorry that I cannot remember what I've done wrong for you". I was feeling pretty down about not being able to remember my own sins. There's enough of them, I should be able to remember, but I really felt different about this confession, normally I can pass it off to something or another, but this one felt different. Then we got into the community confession part. At the end of it, when Fr L delivers the blessing, I had a rather huge smile, and an overwhelming feeling of happiness. Normally, I feel good about confession, but this was something different. It felt way stronger than usual, and then I realized I was kneeling down on the kneeler, without any pain. That was something I had not done since, well, since we first got them. So I was rather filled with joy about receiving God's blessing, and being pain free at the same time. So I had to offer up thanks for it during prayers from the people (which you may have heard me say during the service). But it didn't stop there.
During Father Lawrence's children's sermon, I took a bunch of pictures. As I try and take pictures with the flash off as to not disturb the service, I tend to take a lot of them because 90% of them are unusable and blurry due to no flash. Well, one of them worked out, and had quite a meaning for me. It was from the second attempt to get the Jesus paper to rise with the balloon. Right before the balloon got to the ceiling, the picture I took had a completely UNMISTAKABLE cross on it. Now the light behind the balloon was not shaped like that, and we don't have any cross shaped lights that I know of in the church. The closest would be the big wooden cross behind the altar, but there's no way I can think of that this cross would reflect on the balloon like this. I can only conclude that this was a message from God that I was supposed to be there today. Both to receive the absolution from sin, to feel pain free - this cross on the balloon was a message for me, I think. I did not see this cross until later in the afternoon on Sunday when I had dumped the pictures from my camera to my computer. It was quite powerful - I just stared at it for awhile. I'm not the kind of person who sees these things - I don't see "Jesus in a pancake", or "The Virgin Mary in tree bark". So for me to see a cross in an object like that was quite powerful to me. Since God knows I'm a computer person, and someone who takes a lot of pictures, it felt like he was using this technology to reach out to me, and deliver me a message that he was glad I was there when I didn't want to be.
So I get to work today, trying to figure out how to tell people about all this, and in my company's interoffice email was a guy here who was selling his copy of the aforementioned "Rock Band" game from earlier in my story. He was selling it for about 33% off, and I wrote him back saying "It's tempting man, as my little girl wanted to go bang on the demo unit at Sam's Club Saturday, but it wasn't there - I almost bought one on the spot - but I really don't have the free cash to buy a $150 game, even discounted to $100, but thanks for the offer". About ten minutes later, the guy shows up in my office, carrying the Rock Band game stuff. I said "Dude, my email was to say I was tempted, I really can't afford to buy this, as much as I'd like to". He responded with "I know. The joy of your little girl is a better thing to receive than the money I'd get." I protested again with something like "That's nice dude, but you could get some money for this". He told me "Shut up, and take it home would ya?" So I backed off and accepted it. It was a very kind gift, and right after it happened, I could only thank the Lord for being in this man's heart. When I replied to him about Samantha, I honestly was not intending to seek out a gift like that. The Lord must have been working in his heart. I feel it's a nice bookend to the last 36 hours or so with me. I was obedient to God's call to come to him and come to his house, so I was blessed both spiritually, and with an Earthly blessing, too.
I have to admit to still being a bit surprised by all this. Spencer, thanks for the email, my friend - or I would have likely missed all of this.
Update #1 (Dec 11): Father Lawrence updates with a first hand account of events.
Update #2 (Dec 12): Joe Beggs updates with a second letter detailing events that occurred in Colorado.
Dear brothers and sisters in Christ,
Most of you know by now about the terrible tragedy that occurred this weekend in Colorado, leaving four people dead. For those of you who do not know, both my nephew (Andrew Harrison) and our Senior Warden's daughter (Katie Beggs) are currently students at the Arvada YWAM base and were present when the shootings occurred. By the grace of God, their lives were spared. And in the gracious providence of God, Joe and Brenda Beggs were visiting Katie this past weekend and are still in Colorado, offering themselves as instruments of healing and support as needed. Some of you may not know, however, that I am personally connected to the YWAM Arvada base as I also attended this same YWAM School back in 1991 after it first opened, under the leadership of the current base director, Peter Warren. He is a godly man and has handled this tragic situation with love and great pastoral sensitivity, both with the students and among the press.
There are many "co-incidences" in the circumstances of this situation that relate to our parish, none of which has escaped God's attention, nor mine. There is fervent prayer still needed and much that we as Christians can learn from what has transpired. My sermon yesterday was preached on this subject and I hope that we will have reflections from Joe and Brenda Beggs at this Sunday's worship services. If you missed yesterday's worship services or are receiving this as a friend in Christ and would like to hear that sermon, you can link to it here:
http://www.rowlettanglicans.org/files/sermons/120907.mp3
The letter that follows was written by Joe Beggs and I think it warrants a careful reading by each of you. Joe lists the names of those still hospitalized as well as those whose lives were taken in Arvada. Please continue to keep these brave Christians and their families in prayer as well as all those affected by the shootings in Colorado Springs. In Bishop Kwashi's spirit-filled address at this week's Inaugural CANA Council, he said this: "The gospel of Jesus Christ is worth living for...and it is worth dying for." Let us all prayerfully consider the truth of this statement, stand ready to live it out, and make the most of the time that remains in our short lives on earth.
Faithfully Yours in Jesus Christ,
Lawrence+
From Joe Beggs, Senior Warden
Christ the Redeemer
To my friends, family, and associates,
I am sure most of you have seen the reports today from Arvada, CO concerning the shootings and deaths of members of the missionary staff at YWAM. I also know that many of you have been in prayer for the situation and the people involved. Most of you know, that our youngest daughter Katie is attending the Youth With A Mission Discipleship Training School in Arvada. I am eternally grateful to God that she was not one of the young people who were shot, two of whom have died.
I am also thankful to God that Brenda and I had chosen this weekend to visit with Katie during her time here, since she is scheduled to leave for Argentina next week on a two-month mission trip. I am not sure how I would have handled the phone call I received last night had I been in Dallas rather than Denver.
I thought I would try to tell you guys what our last 24 hours have been like.
We had spent most of the day yesterday with Katie. She and Brenda visited the "thrift stores" to pick up a couple of items she was going to need for Argentina. Katie then went back to base to get ready for their Christmas dinner/Love Fest. It was a wonderful evening where the kids dressed up in their finest, wore masks, and had a talent show following a great dinner that some of them had prepared for us. Brenda and I went back to the hotel planning on meeting Katie for church Sunday morning and then heading for the airport to come home.
About 12:45 AM we received a call that changed our lives forever. Katie called crying hysterically and when I finally got her settled down to a point where I could understand her, she said "daddy they are shooting at us!". Brenda and I immediately dressed and headed the 10-15 miles to the base. When we arrived, the police were all over the place and of course, they were not allowing anyone in the area. When I told them my daughter was a student at YWAM and in the building, they assured us that all the students had been accounted for. They then asked us to go to a parking lot a few blocks away where several staff members of YWAM, who live off-campus were beginning to gather. There was also a policeman there who went out of his way to keep all of us somewhat informed.
After a couple of hours of waiting, we were told that they were taking all the kids to police headquarters to get their statements. During this time they had not been allowed to use their cell phones because they didn't want to contaminate the case or the evidence. The officer suggested we go back to the hotel, but I said that I would like to just wait at the police department's parking lot. He got my name and said he would have someone call as soon as their was something to tell. He did good! We hadn't been at the PD more than 15 minutes when we got a call from someone in the building inviting us to come in. We were met by a Victim's Advocate representative who could not have been more helpful. They then interviewed Katie first since she had parents there and was going to be leaving with them.
Having been with the Staff members and the police officer, we knew more about who was hurt than Katie. They had not been told names at all. Unfortunately, the initial reports turned out to be overly optimistic. We were initially told that Tiffany was the worse off, but had regained consciousness prior to be taken to surgery. We were also told that the 3 guys had lesser injuries. Unfortunately that pretty much got blown away when we found out around 9:00 this morning that Tiffany and Phil, had both died, and Dan was in critical, but stable condition. The fourth young man has been listed as stable. We have been told that he has a leg wound. Dan, was shot in the neck and we are told that it may be two weeks before they will be able to operate because of the swelling.
Continue to pray for Dan and Chuck, as well as the families of Tiffany and Phil, and of course, the students who are all dealing with the loss of these wonderful individuals.
For those of you who are not aware of YWAM, the staff for the most part are no older than many of the students. Katie thinks she is probably older than all four of the staff members who were shot. Tiffany and Dan had become "an item". When that occurs they are assigned an older, married couple to act as their accountability partners. Some of the stories we have heard about their relationship have been both heart-warming, as well as heart-wrenching. They obviously loved one another, but more importantly, they loved our Lord. We were told by one of the older staff members that "either of them would have willingly given their lives for our Lord". Which at least Tiffany ended up doing.
As I am sure you have heard, there was another shooting 12 hours later, and 70 miles away at Colorado Springs at a church. One of the shooters there was killed by a security guard and another suspect was captured. The Arvada police are looking into the possibility that the two shootings might be connected. I pray that they were and the two perpetrators have been taken care of. The suspects seem to have a lot in common, but the major difference is the YWAM assault was carried out by one person, while the Colorado Springs had two.
We will see.
Brenda and I extended our stay for a day or two to try to help in any way we can. The Arvada students have been moved to another base northwest of Golden, but they went up there directly from police headquarters, and many of them didn't even have shoes and coats, much less tooth brushes, toothpaste, shampoo, etc. Brenda and I made a run to Costco for some of those items, and then I helped them unload a bobtail truck that was sent up from the Denver Rescue Mission with sleeping bags, linens, towel, and food.
I would ask each of you to keep these young people in your prayers. Watching them share their love, as well as their grief, makes me proud to not only have one of them for a daughter, but also to know that God is still working with his young people. I have been taught that Jesus' apostles were all young men. Seeing the faith of these young people gives me a great sense that the example set by the original 12 will be carried forward by many, if not most, of the young folks I observed today.
Please keep them and their leaders in your prayers.
In His Love and service,
Joe
UPDATE #1 from Fr Lawrence (Dec 11): My friend, Fr. Michael Fry, sent me the link to this testimony of the security guard who shot the gunman in Colorado Springs and it brought chills to me as I witnessed the depth of her Christian walk and how God had prepared her for this moment. If you want to hear a genuine testimony of a person who walks with God and knows to give the glory to Him, this is really something worth watching. The link is here.
UPDATE #2 from Joe Beggs (Dec 12):
Dear Friends, Family, and Associates,
Today is Tuesday and Brenda and I are on a plane coming home from Denver.
First let me thank all of you for the prayers and kind words that you have extended to Brenda, Katie, and me; as well as the victims, their families, and all those who were touched by the events of this past weekend, both at YWAM and New Life Church in Colorado Springs. I can't begin to tell you how much we have appreciated your kindness.
I have been asked by several of you to give an update on the situation, so the following is my attempt to write down my thoughts in some sort of logical order. Writing it is almost like therapy for me and at a lot less money!!
I assume that you all know that the young man who was killed when he attacked the New Life Church in Colorado Springs has been positively identified as the same person who had assaulted the YWAM facility in Arvada 12 hours earlier. Please keep his family in your prayers. From what the papers and news reports have said, he appeared to be a very "mixed up" kid who grew up in a very religious family.
Yesterday (Monday), Brenda and I returned to the YWAM base in the mountains northwest of Golden around lunchtime. We had picked up a few more items that were needed at the base. The base at Eagle Rock is a beautiful facility that was converted from a former juvenile detention center. Seems somewhat ironic that a former juvenile detention center is now being used as a training facility for missionaries being prepared to carry the Gospel of Jesus Christ throughout the world!!
I am not sure how many trainees are normally based there but I do know that they have an issue with an inadequate water supply. Under normal circumstances, they bring their laundry down to Arvada each Friday, since they do not have enough water to wash their clothes! That being the case, clean towels and washcloths became a hot commodity when their numbers basically doubled! We were able to purchase a good number of towels and washcloths pretty cheap at a Big Lots, and grab some other toiletry items which were also needed.
When we arrived at the base, there were YWAM leaders from all around the country, as well as the world there to lend prayers and support. Shortly after our arrival, the gunman was identified as a person who had once been a student at Arvada, but who had not been allowed to finish the course, nor do the outreach. The official reason given by YWAM was "due to health concerns". There are other reports out there in the media, but for me, this is good enough.
In another "God-incidence", we met two of the leaders who had come in to help; a lady from San Francisco and a gentleman from Las Vegas. When we started talking, we discovered that the man, Dave Mansfield, was a friend of a member of our church, Joe Siegler, who had been told by Joe that we were here, and for him to try to find us!!
About 2:00 PM they started what turned out to be an impromptu memorial service for Tiffany and Phil. It was an absolutely beautiful service, with tears, laughter, and an outpouring of love for them, as well as the God they died for. It was during this service that I realized one of the reasons God had for me to be here at this time. I mentioned Dave Mansfield, Joe's friend from Las Vegas. At the beginning of the service they introduced Dave as YWAM'er, but also a trained grief counselor. I just knew that Brenda and I were supposed to pray for Dave, and when I mentioned it to him, he readily accepted our offer. After the service we prayed that God would bless him with "the mind of Christ and the ability to look into the souls of those he would minister to". We also asked for Dave to receive "wisdom and complete clarity of thought during his times with the missionaries who would be seeking his council".
As an aside, (and since she is receiving this email and might need a reminder!) we asked Katie to spend some time with Dave, seeing how she is a lot like her daddy, and has a tendency to "internalize" things, I think it would definitely be a good thing!
We then left Eagle Rock and returned to our hotel shortly after the memorial service ended.
I am not sure that I am capable of adequately expressing the admiration I have for everyone I met from YWAM, and the way this ordeal was handled. Peter Warren, the director of YWAM/Colorado managed this crisis professionally, but with a sense of sensitivity; but more importantly, in a Godly and loving manner. I hope to someday be able to tell him of my admiration personally.
Katie and her friends use the word "processing" to describe how they are dealing with this tragedy. I am sure that this is a psychological term with a long and complicated definition which I am not familiar with; but I think the term is appropriate. I remember years ago going through some training for the latest innovation in manufacturing techniques when the trainer explained how this was different from what we had learned in the past. He described this as a "process, rather than a program". He noted that a program has a beginning and an end, where a process is "never-ending".
This seems to me to be a good way to look at this weekend's events and its aftermath. I will never forget what I've experienced these last few days, and feel quite certain that most of the young men and women will neither. I will remember much more than the horror of the event. I will remember most of all how a community of God's people came together to love and support one another through this horrible ordeal. The pain will eventually subside, but those memories of the young people and how they loved one another will be etched in my mind forever.
As I have told a few of you the last couple of days, "I pray to God that I never have to experience anything like this past weekend again, but I thank Him, from the bottom of my heart, that I was in Denver and able to witness His healing power and love, as He ministered to all of us who were there".
In His Love and Service,
Joe
PS: I wrote this on the plane this afternoon, and typed and edited it this evening. We have since heard from Katie and they are down the mountain and back at Arvada. Continue to pray for them as they have the formal Memorial Service for Tiffany and Phil tomorrow and prepare to leave for Argentina in the near future (not sure of date, they might find out later tonight).
JTB
Dearest friends in Christ,
As you receive this newsletter, we will be celebrating our nine month anniversary as a newly transplanted congregation in South Garland. How ironic that nine months is the gestation period for a baby as it seems that it what God has been doing with us over the past nine months: preparing us for new birth as a congregation as we also celebrate this month the birth of our Savior.
Reflecting back on the past nine months, it is hard to fight back the tears of joy as I recall the many ways God has shown to us His goodness and faithfulness. In less than a week, we renovated and established a new worship space; we purchased six acres of land in Rowlett for a future campus, complete with the Canterbury House; we found a new spiritual home in CANA, we regularly received the necessary resources to continue in faithful ministry; we saw steady growth, necessitating the expansion of our Broadway campus; and we have seen many people come to know the Lord Jesus Christ and receive his healing touch. Amazing things have happened as we have sought to be a church family faithful to the Bible and the teaching of the Apostles as we have received it. And now, as our nine-month “gestation” period comes to an end, we see God beginning to open up new vistas of ministry and opportunities for us as a congregation.
In January, we will embark on The Promised Land Capital Campaign which will give us the resources to press forward with our Master Plan and pay off the debt on the land we have purchased in Rowlett. The kickoff for this Campaign will be the same day as our first Confirmation service since we joined CANA and a visit from our new CANA bishop, David Anderson. January will also mark the celebration of new ministry for Sheri Graham as she is ordained a deacon and begins a new season of ministry among us as a member of the clergy. In March, we will celebrate our one year anniversary as a congregation by sponsoring the Anglican School of Healing Ministries at our Broadway campus, hosting Anglicans and other Christians from all over the country as we seek to fulfill our call to equip disciples and spread the Good News of God’s healing touch. Next summer we will lead several mission trips and I will hopefully host a group of CANA ordination aspirants on a trip to Nigeria.
Just as the Apostle Peter wrote to the early disciples, we have indeed been “born anew through the living and abiding word of God.” I am so thankful for each one of you who has remained faithful to our Lord Jesus Christ and has given so generously of your time, talent and treasure for the building of God’s Kingdom and the “equipping of the saints for ministry” here at Christ the Redeemer. It is an exciting time in the life of our congregation and there is a place for each of us to continue to be faithful ministers of the gospel using the gifts that He has given to us according to His grace.
I pray that for you and your family, this Advent and Christmas season will be filled with a joy-filled peace and a sense of expectancy in what God has planned for each of us in the months and years ahead.
Joyfully Yours in His Love and Grace,
Fr Lawrence+
I write today in light of the issuance of an important Communique from the CAPA Primates (Council of Anglican Provinces of Africa). They met this past week for three days in Mauritius and issued an important statement as a result of their meeting.
It calls for three important actions to be taken:
- A special meeting of the Anglican Primates to consider the way forward in light of the House of Bishops recent statement.
- To finalize the Anglican Communion Covenant which will provide a common ground for inclusion in the Anglican Communion and define what it truly means to be an Anglican.
- To delay the 2008 Lambeth Conference until each province of the Anglican Communion has had a chance to review the Covenant and make a decision on whether or not to sign it.
Only those Provinces that have signed the Covenant would be allowed to attend the Lambeth Conference, thereby putting all participants on common ground with a clear understanding of what it means to be "Anglican."
These three goals, in my opinion, are all worthy of immediate consideration by the ABC (Archbishop of Canterbury), and will provide one last hope of holding the Anglican Communion together. Please keep the ABC and all the Primates in your prayers during the next few months as important decisions will be made. To read the full text of the CAPA Communique, go here.
I'll be writing several reflections in the coming week, about our new name and an update on the renovation/expansion of our Broadway space. But in this edition of the Rector's Reflections, I want to highlight a few points about what has been happening the wider Anglican Communion and Episcopal Church this past week.
1) The Episcopal Bishops released a statement from their bi-annual meeting in New Orleans which ended this past Tuesday. It’s only a couple of pages long, if you want to read it it is available here. More importantly is how folks reacted to it: Both the conservatives that are threatening to leave AND the radical left (the Episcopal Gay lobby) are united in reading this as a “status quo” document. The New York Times agrees with this summary as well (link). The BBC is reporting that the Archbishop of Kenya has already said the “compromise” was insufficient. Our own Archbishop, Peter Akinola wrote a strongly worded statement which you can view here. Surely there will be much more written and many more pundits speaking, but the verdict will probably be left unchanged.
2) A very important meeting has just concluded in Pittsburgh including 51 Conservative Bishops from the Episcopal Church, overseas Anglicans and what have been called the “continuing churches” (Anglicans that left TEC years ago). There was a lot of hope riding on this meeting that it would be the starting point of a new orthodox Anglican province in the U.S. You can read CANA's perspective on the results of this meeting here. Many orthodox bishops have commented that one person who chose not to attend this historic meeting of conservative bishops was Bishop James Stanton of the Episcopal Diocese of Dallas.
3) My former boss when I worked at St. Andrew’s in Fort Worth, TX (The Rt. Rev. Jeffrey Steenson) who is now the Episcopal Bishop of The Rio Grande has resigned to become a Roman Catholic. It is quite rare for an active Bishop to resign his post prior to retirement; and even more rare for an active Bishop to go to Rome (I don’t think it’s EVER happened) though two retired Bishops joined the Roman Catholic Church earlier this year. You can read Bp. Steenson’s farewell speech to his colleagues in the House of Bishops here.
4) Watch the news – it is rumored that as many as four or five Episcopal Church Dioceses will leave TEC within the year. San Joaquin is expected to be the first to leave in December. The others who are most likely to jump out of TEC include Ft. Worth TX, Pittsburgh PA & Quincy IL. One reliable web site for news on the Anglican Communion is http://www.standfirminfaith.com.
I try not to dwell on the politics of the Episcopal Church and the Anglican Communion. However, from time to time, I think it is important for me to inform you of recent events that may have an effect on us as a congregation. Although no clear impact is immediately apparent, there will inevitably be an effect on us as a CANA congregation from this past week's events. Stay tuned for more updates.
